Terms of Service

TERMS OF SERVICE: By proceeding and opening this card you agree to the following terms. The giver, henceforth to be known as ‘The Greatest’ is in fact the greatest human being you know or will ever meet. You will forever be in debt to The Greatest for simply knowing this person. This card shall prove sufficient for acknowledgement of this and all your future birthdays. Shall you ever win the lottery, you will be required to split the winnings with The Greatest. You will hencforth be required to “back me up” in all future arguments, no matter how ridiculous my position may be. You shall never sue me under any circumstance. You will be required to invite me to any party you host. The Greatest shall be given first refusal to the role of your “+1” for all party invitations as well as any sitution where there is an extra ticket to a concert, sporting event or similar special occasion. Shall I ever move, you will be required to help. When driving in a car together you relinquish all control of the radio to The Greatest. From this moment forward The Greatest owns all naming rights to any of your future children. You also agree that Bigfoot is real.
Inside: Birthday